For some reason, I'm thinking of when our baby girl died. The dark tunnel I felt I was in. The nights lying awake crying. The whirlwind of planning a funeral...for our daughter. SO MANY people were around us at that time. People called me that I haven't spoken to in years. An ex-boyfriend from high school even called to say how sorry he was.
And there were quite a few people who wanted to really and truly say the right things to us, but they were totally and completely the wrong things to say. Intentions were good. Their hearts were good. But the words were more hurtful than they could have imagined. Do you ever wonder what to say when a loved one or friend has lost someone, or some tragedy has happened? Here's a thought...that never really happens today.
Job 2:11-13
11 When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. 12 When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. 13 Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.
And there were quite a few people who wanted to really and truly say the right things to us, but they were totally and completely the wrong things to say. Intentions were good. Their hearts were good. But the words were more hurtful than they could have imagined. Do you ever wonder what to say when a loved one or friend has lost someone, or some tragedy has happened? Here's a thought...that never really happens today.
Job 2:11-13
11 When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. 12 When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. 13 Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.
Although it ends up that Job's friends weren't that great, they started out great. They were silent...for seven days. And in Chapter 3 verse 1, it was JOB who spoke first. Although Job said some not so great things, it was he who broke the silence and let his friends know he was ready to talk.
This could be a lesson for us. Sometimes, consoling means being silent. Praying. Being there. Hugs. Service. Without words. This might not always be the case depending on the person, but it may just keep us from saying something hurtful to someone who is already hurting.
3 comments:
so true Jaime! I have a hard time with this. I want to fix it! Thanks for the reminder!
Well said. Thanks for reminding me.
Great post. I have so much to learn. Some other dear friends of ours lost their first daughter they posted this about 3 years ago. Much like what you said. I'm learning.
http://snodsabroad.blogspot.com/2008/02/what-to-say.html
Love you...thanks for helping us be good friends!!!!
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