I Love Him

I can't tell you how much I love my husband. I get so mad at him sometimes, only to analyze the situation and find out that I'm just being very sinful and selfish, wanting MY way, but I take it out on him. He doesn't deserve that.

He is so wise and so godly. He prays about everything. He seeks God's Word for direction. He thinks eternally. It inspires me.

Lots of days I feel so unworthy to be his wife. Why did God take someone like me and give me such a gift?? That's only God's grace alone. Sometimes I think the only thing I'm good for is letting Matt know where he left his keys, or remind him of why he's standing in the middle of the room as he forgot what he's doing. He's so good. He is. And when he reads this, he'll say, "NO!! I'm evil. Jaime, don't you really know me??" But I'm so grateful that God is absolutely the most important thing to him. God's ways are most important, and my manipulations can't do anything to make him compromise.

I wish, before I get angry with him, that I would realize my selfish ways and not react the ways that I do. That I wouldn't try to "punish" him by pouting or not speaking or becoming angry. *(Don't get me wrong...this isn't an everyday thing...but it happens often enough to be frustrating to me)* When will I learn? When will I bathe myself in prayer about my character, my love, my selfishness, my love for God and my husband? God, change my heart. My heart is deceitful above everything else. Create in me a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within me. Help me to be the wife and mother that you created me to be. Help me not sin in my anger. Help me be like You.